en-us Copyright 2008 - All Rights Reserved. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:24:34 GMT 15 By Casey Parvin
Growing pains can consume the body, whether it’s physically, emotionally or both. The painful tingle in the knee. The aching pieces of the heart left shattered after a broken relationship. I’m not the first to be forced into new stages of life, and I most certainly won’t be the last. Over the past year, I’ve been forced to grow more emotionally than I would have ever expected. My life has drastically changed and I know I’m not the same person I was at the beginning of the year. But I can accept that. The only part I can’t accept is the question of whether or not I’m better off than before all this “growing up” started. In the past year, I’ve lost two best friends: one by choice (which I now regret) and one by overall personality conflict. Even though both friendships ended differently, each has changed the way I viewed myself as a friend. With the first lost friendship, I truly messed up what I had built with my best friend since seventh grade. When I realized it was no longer convenient for us to see each other, I decided it was best we didn’t talk anymore. I had convinced myself I knew what better than her on every aspect, including her personal life. Weird, I know. At the time, I thought my views and values were correct by default. With this immature logic, I pushed away a great friend. The other lost friend helped me learn just how important communication can be to a friendship. Phone call, email, text message, MySpace, Facebook, written letter, telegram, carrier pigeon, there are so many ways to contact people nowadays there is almost no excuse for not keeping in touch. But, there is also a time and place for non-verbal communication. With all the evolving forms of contact, nothing beats a faceto- face conversation when a friend really needs help. Hiding behind a computer solves nothing. Also, communication of how one is feeling can make or break a friendship. Not only did this friend and I not keep in contact like true friends should, but this person kept bottled up anger from me for a year and a half. All of these factors added together equaled one big blowout fight and one even bigger broken heart. I know my heart is healing day-today, but I’m not quite familar with the person I’m becoming. Even though I’m impatient, I know only time will tell. For a long time, I didn’t want to move on from these relationships. My senior year has literally been dedicated to figuring out my life without these two friends. Growing from these has only added to the other aspects in my life that are staring me in the face. Those dreadful growing pains struck once more when I was, again, walking away from something I loved dearly. I quit dancing ballet at the end of my junior year, and even though I promised myself I would still take ballet classes, that has yet to happen. I didn’t quit ballet because I didn’t love dancing anymore; it’s actually the exact opposite. I quit because I found I simply love journalism more. I didn’t want to only put a fraction of myself into dance when I would be surrounded by dancers who wanted to be there whole-heartedly. Being forced to grow out of the “dancer” identity was something I almost never expected to do, but I have to just keep telling myself that I made the right decision because, as of right now, there is no looking back. Even though I know I’m not the only senior that feels this way, I’m completely ready to grow up and move on into college. High school is all about what one makes of it: the classes, the people, the life-lessons. I truly feel that students will get out of high school exactly what they put into it. Now, I’m ready to move on to college to face the new experiences and meet new people that will shape my life. I know I will miss home and I know I will still be sad on graduation day, but I also know I can handle life away from home and the new experiences that will come my way. Being forced to move on is a part of life, or at least that’s what I’m told. With everything I’ve been through, looking back on these experiences, I know that I have come out with a stronger sense of self, but I still find myself working on that time machine. ]]> Fri, 18 Apr 2008 18:13:00 GMT