Although it is not a pleasing topic, dating violence continues to be an ongoing issue in our world. It occurs when one person tries to gain partial or complete power over their significant other. Whether it is emotional, physical or sexual, it is abuse and must be prevented and stopped.  Though abuse happens everywhere, it often goes unnoticed because the general public is largely uneducated on the issue.

Dating violence comes in three different types.  Physical abuse occurs when people push, punch, kick, shove, or even bites their partners.  Emotional abuse happens when they bully, name call, yell, or say that the other person deserves the abuse.  Sexual abuse in a relationship involves abusers forcing sexual activity on their partners when they have said no or when they cannot fight back because they are intoxicated.  All three types of dating violence can be prevented by those who know the warning signs.  To a person who is being abused, the first warning sign usually comes when the abuser becomes controlling and jealous.  To the friends and loved ones of abused people, the most obvious signs are of physical abuse.  These range from bruises, scratches or even bite marks. Changes in mood and personality could be possible indications related to abuse.  A person can go from being really happy and giddy to being almost depressed and isolated from everyone that he/she are usually around.  Those mood changes could also result in self harm, alcohol use and/or drug use.  It is also possible that their grades could be slipping; whereas they used to have high B's and A's, they could now have low C's and D's.  If any of these signs noticeable on your friend, it may be a good time to start asking questions.  Though there are so many warning signs that indicate an abusive relationship, we rarely look hard enough to tell if someone needs help.

Those signs may not visible on a victim, but the abusers may be leaving hints as well.  If they check their partners’ email or phone without permission or are constantly putting them down, likely they are abusing their significant others.  Telling the other person how to dress and what to do could be signs of a controlling personality which will most likely lead to abuse later on.  So before you start a relationship, take time to consider if any of these warning signs are evident in the person to whom you are planning to date.  People who get extremely jealous over every little thing, whether it is texting someone else or even hanging out with friends, indicate that they will become controlling in the future, which could in the end turn into abuse. That could then lead to them wanting to be with their significant others at all times and not let them spend time with family or friends because of their extreme jealousy.  When situations arise between them and other people, they are not willing to admit they are wrong, so they blame it on other people; this is another sign that a person will become abusive in the future.  

Sometimes, a person becomes abusive even before a relationship has become official.  Because of such stalker behavior, teens should tell their parents and friends the names of new people they meet, and always make sure of the plans before they go anywhere with them in case they do not return home at the planned time.  Always having a cell phone in case of emergency is also important.  Helpful tips like these could go a long way towards preventing abuse for someone who has just been introduced into the dating world or has a history of being in abusive relationships.

One in three high school students have or will be involved in an abusive relationship within their lives.  Also, in one study, 30 to 50% of female high school students reported having experienced teen dating violence. This is just in high school.  Now compare that to the "real world" and those numbers increase drastically.  On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.  In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by their intimate others.  What if one of these people is your friend?  Are they crying out for help?  And are you listening?  If you see someone physically touching and hurting someone else, you do not have to step in, but you should get help from an adult before it gets out of hand.  Wouldn't you want the same for you?

There are so many hotlines and web sites that reach out and help everyone and anyone who are in need of some support and comfort. One example would be the Domestic Violence Hotline, which is a 24/7 hotline that has been helping abuse victims for fifteen years. Contact the hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224. Another helpful resource can be found online at loveisrespect.org.  This website gives tips, advice, and facts for anyone who wants to learn more about abusive relationships. It also has a free live chat with people who will support anyone who needs to talk. There are more numbers and websites that offer help, so do not be afraid to ask.  And always remember: you should not endure abuse and you are not alone.