A lot of my friends this month have been having drama with their new boyfriends. They would tell me stories about what happened and all that gossip stuff. I would listen and realize that a lot of things they were telling me could have been avoided if approached differently.

Some high school students have a hard time with relationships, whether it be they don’t understand how women think, they don’t get how men show their feelings, or they don’t know how to communicate; whatever the case may be, here are some basic tips that you can either take and run with or throw away in the garbage.

I have not only been through some of these things and learned how to correct them myself, but I also learn from watching other couples and using skills that I learn in Mrs. V’s School for Success class.

First, don’t ever walk away mad and upset with someone. Girls, including me, do this from time to time because we want our boyfriend to chase after us and tell us that he is wrong and that he is sorry. Girls want the boy to prove that he cares about them enough to follow them and try and make things better. The problem is that boys don’t know that’s what girls want them to do. They don’t speak “girl” language. They are probably thinking we walked away because were done talking, so why would he try and talk to us more when we just pretty much said, “stop talking to me”? Boys think very differently than girls do.

The most effective thing to do is tell him you’re upset and the reasons why you’re upset, then calmly figure out how to fix things. The worst feeling is when you leave with the hopes of getting chased, and you end up walking away alone with nowhere in particular to go. Just stay in the conversation to try and solve things rationally. It will make both parties a lot happier.

My next tip has to do with texting. Texting seems to be the easy way out of any awkward situation. It’s okay to text about your day, funny stuff and whatever else you want to tell them. The problem is when couples use texting as a way of communicating about their problems. I know everyone has a time in their life when they can’t talk about their feelings and texting seems to be easier and less awkward. But voice tone and body language are a part of communicating. If there is a situation where texting is being used, it’s hard to determine how the person is really feeling when you don’t know how they said those words.

I have also seen situations where someone doesn’t receive a text message and so when they don’t respond back; it causes way more problems than there should have been. If you are communicating with someone face to face, than there is no “message failed” sign. You get your point across the way you meant it to be portrayed and you can make sure the person hears it the first time.

My only advice is when there is a problem, don’t talk over text and try to even avoid talking on the phone. The most effective way is face to face. It allows for each person to say what they need to for themselves and not let their words speak for them.

My last basic tip would have to be overall attitude. It is expected that the boys do all the work and the boys always call and the boys do this and that. I don’t think that all of the burden should be put on the boys’ shoulders. I believe that the relationship should be totally and 100% equal.

Being equal in my opinion is connected a lot to trusting and respecting each other. The last thing that anyone wants is a very over protective and jealous boyfriend or girlfriend. If there is trust issues in a relationship maybe it would be best to end things before it gets too ugly. I don’t know about everyone else, but I wouldn’t want to be with someone I thought was cheating on me and lying to me about everything. That’s no fun. I wouldn’t waste my time worrying and feeling sad over those things. Dating is about having fun and laughing. What’s the point of dating someone if it is all sadness and misery?

Find someone that will make you happy everyday. Not someone who pushes you down and makes you feel worse about yourself. There is never a reason or excuse great enough that allows someone to put up with things they don’t like. It is okay to say no and get out of there.