Eye of the Tiger
Roseville High School
Roseville, CA
Issue Date: Monday, October 05, 2009
Issue: 3
Last Update: Saturday, October 10, 2009
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Monday, October 05, 2009 By Alex Mertz
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The recession is over…apparently.
As of Wednesday September 23, the Dow Jones reached the highest point it in over a year, meaning, on paper, that the recession is over.
So therefore sunshine is everlasting, freedom is spreading, flowers are in bloom and restoration is the word of the day.
Or not. I’ve been wrong before. Maybe, just maybe, people still can’t find jobs, businesses are dropping like flies, and democracy’s at a standstill because of an alleged rigged election in an unnamed foreign country whose name rhymes with “youran” (strictly speculative on that last one).
Jonny Rain Cloud here with your local weather.
So everything is bad and we should be just as, if not more worried than before? Well, no; like I said, the Dow is on the rise, which is generally a good thing.
For those of you representing a very large population saying something along the lines of ‘What is the Dow?’ and/or ‘Why do I care?’ think of the Dow Jones as the nation’s heart: its efficiency closely represents how worried we as a whole should be.
Anyway, back on topic. So, everything’s fine and we can all go back to worrying about more important things like crime and poverty and nuclear holocaust? Or is everything improving enough to the point where crime, poverty and impending doom will all just disappear? And our weight will even out and the country will enjoy a universal state of ecstasy?
Not quite, says Jonny Rain Cloud. As much as we all hate to admit it, that’s not all just about to change with a snap of our fingers.
I know for the most part you’ve learned absolutely nothing from reading this. So here’s my analysis.
We as a country praise the ridicule of those we consider lesser. We’re falling to sex and drugs, our resources are being spread thin in an attempt to stop foreign rulers, and our politics are divided by age old parties. All the while, we are rotting from the inside out.
We are officially a replication of the fall of Rome. Yes, that’s a decent amount of personal nihilism but it is true to an extent.
Though that’s why we have history classes, so we learn to not actually fall in the same manor.
So we’re all doomed to an inevitable end leading to a new dark age? Well it’s a definite possibility if you want to be that pessimistic.
Honestly, here’s the best I can say: the Dow is on the rise, so potentially there’s good things on the horizon. Obviously we’re doing something right or this wouldn’t be happening, though at the same time…
In the end, though if we’re all attacked by Attila the Hun, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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