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Tuesday, March 06, 2012 By Ian Scott
 - Yahoo
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More than 20 countries have their own version of programs such as American Idol and The X-Factor, and while the occasional potential superstar pops up to wow the crowd with their astonishing talent, there is little doubt the best part of these shows is the auditions...the bad ones, that is.
Through the magic of YouTube, I have compiled the 11 funniest auditions from the UK version of The X-Factor and American Idol. I figured since these type shows have been around for about 11 years (not counting Star Search), 11 was an appropriate number. Needless to say, I searched tirelessly for uproarious auditions from other nations’ shows and possibly the Got Talent series, but none produced the hilarity that these two did. To be clear, funny to me encompasses everything: contestant performance plus the judges’ reaction, comments and facial expressions.
Judges: Cheryl Cole, Louis Walsh, Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne, Paula Abdul, Dannii Minogue, Randy Jackson and Mark McGrath
11. Donna - The X-Factor UK (Series 3)
Song: “Like a Prayer” - Madonna
It only takes a glance to see that Donna had no hope for success, but it takes 3 minutes and 26 seconds to realize just how lost of a cause she was. With a downright strange tribute to her iconic idol, Donna made an indelible impression with pathetically amusing begging and pleading that made this a classic.
10. Ant and Seb - The X-Factor UK (Series 5)
Song: “Mysterious Girl” - Peter Andre
With dreams of worldwide super-stardom, Welsh brothers Ant and Seb took to the audition room dressed to impress. Unfortunately for the dynamic duo, they gave a bizarrely comical performance, a mix of pop and reggae that made even the usually stoic Cowell’s face turn red.
9. Dreamtime - The X-Factor UK (Series 5)
Song: “We Belong Together” - Mariah Carey
It started out as another hopeless attempt at musical magic, but quickly turned into an outlandish audition to remember when Nathan, the male of this duo, opened his mouth to belt like Mariah. Squealing like a pig, he left the judges initially bewildered and then in hysterics. This, as well as Nathan’s boasting about his album selling 180 copies, only made things worse for the pair, but funnier for us.
8. Aven Moore - American Idol (Season 4)
Song: “Tomorrow” from the musical Annie
Dressed as if he went to the local Walmart and threw together a lazy version of a Barney costume, Aven, with purple headband and bouncy afro, left the judges speechless with his rendition of “Tomorrow” featuring an astonishingly impressive display of vocal endurance and melodramatic emoting.
7. Jahm - The X-Factor UK (Season 7)
Song: “Bad Romance” - Lady Gaga
A performance that must be seen to be believed (just ask Cheryl Cole), this daring trio stepped onstage with a purpose: to succeed. This was, however, a purpose they did not see fulfilled. In a moment of silence following the audition, the stadium of thousands bowed their heads to pay tribute to the now-murdered tune they once loved so dearly.
6. Joshua Boson - American Idol (Season 7)
Song: “And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going” from the musical Dreamgirls
The South Carolina auditions for season 7 of American Idol were notoriously bad, but when Joshua Boson arrived dressed in an un-tucked black button-down shirt and orange pants, it seemed that “bad” would no longer be a strong enough word. Armed with over-the-top gesturing and alarmingly poor vocals, Mr. Boson made history - but not in a good way.
5. Holly Jervis - The X-Factor UK (Series 5)
Song: “Big, Blonde, and Beautiful” from the movie Hairspray
There are some really big things in this world: the Taj Mahal, Oprah Winfrey’s net worth, James Cameron’s ego. However, apparently no man, woman or child could concoct anything as enormous as the gaping mouth of this wannabe superstar. Even Steven Tyler himself would have watched in horror as Ms. Jervis delivered an audition from a “cave mouth” that may have made even the most ruthless of criminals shudder in fear. That, or freeze in disbelief.
4. Penelope - The X-Factor UK (Series 2)
Songs: “Over the Rainbow” - Judy Garland and “Fields of Gold” - Sting
The earliest days of The X-Factor saw a string of riotous auditions, but there was none funnier from that era than the lovely Penelope. When she began singing this cinema classic, her thick Hispanic accent overwhelmed the judges, who couldn’t keep from bursting out in laughter... for four minutes.
3. Fouad Djaoublia - The X-Factor UK (Series 6)
Songs: “Vision of Love” and “Hero” - Mariah Carey
Frenchman Fouad marched onstage hoping for validation that he could become the male Mariah Carey, but what he got was perhaps the greatest troll in history as the audience erupted with applause and drifted into a sing-a-long that only added to the mystified Cowell’s frustration. In every way: the performance, the voice, the gesturing, Fouad’s audition was a train wreck of unforgettable hilarity.
2. James Lewis - American Idol (Season 7)
Song: “Go Down Moses” - Various Artists
If there is one kiss of death for talent show audition-ees, it’s the famous line “I was encouraged by my co-workers to come do this.” Philadelphia native James Lewis was one such victim of this dreaded occupational hazard and created a firestorm of confusion, surprise and uncontrollable cackling. How Simon managed to keep a straight face will always be a mystery worthy of cinematic adaptation.
1. Dawn the Jockey - The X-Factor UK (Series 4)
Song: “Cherish” - Madonna
When soft-spoken Dawn stood on the X-Factor “X”, ready to unleash her voice with a cover of Madonna’s “Cherish,” no one could have imagined what she was truly in store for. Well, maybe you could see a little something coming. Dressed in a short leather dress and cap, perhaps a bit mismatched for someone of her stature, she revealed to the panel that she was an “apprentice jockey” - sending Louis Walsh and Sharon Osbourne into hysterics. Her almost indiscernible and tuneless singing only added fuel to the fire, and Simon had to put an end to the funniest audition of all time.
Runners-Up
12. Danny Parker - American Idol Season 3
Songs: “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” - ’N Sync “Crazy” - Patsy Cline
13. Ashiq Paca - The X-Factor UK (Series 5)
Songs: “Rule the World” - Take That
14. Keith Beukelaer - American Idol Season 2
Songs: “Like a Virgin”-Madonna, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody(Who Loves Me)-Whitney Houston
To be honest, once these shows get past the auditions, I don’t see a point in watching unless Cheryl Cole happens to be a judge, which of course she isn’t anymore (I’m glaring at you, FOX and Simon Cowell). Whether it’s delusion, vapidity or plain ignorance that keeps the talentless hacks coming back for more, one thing is for sure: they’re funny.
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