In the days before my birthday at the end of February, as I was looking forward to and planning a big event for the big 18, I received a letter in the mail from the U.S. Government. It told me “Men 18 through 25 years old are required to register if they have not already done so.” First of all, if it is a required action, then why is it called the SELECTIVE service? S-E-L-E-C-T-I-V-E. That means voluntary. And register for what? Maybe the government sent a bake sale or a swap meet registration to me. “Why Comply?” it asks on the bottom of the form. It answers its own question with this: “It’s the law. Failure to register is a felony and may result in up to $250,000 in fines, up to 5 years imprisonment or both.” Well, this certainly sounds like a harsh penalty to impose when someone chooses not to comply with… a VOLUNTARY ACTION. In addition, I’m going to estimate that the government spends over a million dollars a year sending these cards out. That’s money that could feed the homeless, or go towards AIDS research, or even towards our public school systems.

Another thing that bothers me about this registration: If they are only having men ‘volunteer,’ why do they a have a box to mark your gender? Seems to me that the answer would be obvious. What would they do to me if I marked the box for female? Probably send in a death squad, or revoke my free college grant, or even check under my jockeys.

Seeing as how the government seems to think that we’re really stupid and might try to invoke these ridiculous fines and other punishments, they should save the postage on the card and register us themselves. If it’s not really voluntary, and everyone has to do it, why go through us and get our approval? If you know I’m a male about to turn 18, just do it. I would never find out, and I would be less angry, which would lower my blood pressure, leaving me a more healthy person. Why does the government want to hurt me? I’m just an innocent high school student, trying to get along in this cold world.

If it truly were voluntary, no one would sign up. Of course, there won’t be a draft. Our president promised on national TV, and TV is our third parent. Our parents would never lie to us, would they? Never. Then what is the registration for?

I’ll never fight in a war. I refuse. Unless someone brought the war to

California, and I could either fight or die, then I’d fight, and proudly. But for George Bush and his oil money? For Dick Cheney and his oil money? Certainly not on my life.

So here is what I’m going to do, and pay attention because I recommend you do the same: Go ahead and send back that registration card, covered in peace signs, middle fingers, and big bold letter that say ‘UNDER PROTEST!’