They lost. They lost again. That’s all that can be said for the tightening of the throat, the lump in the stomach, and the disillusioned, blank stare that was the latest Cubs’ playoff flop. It was a season soaked in hope, dreams, and optimism that only ended as it had so many times before—in desperate disappointment. For many, the Chicago Cubs were the favorite to win the National League pennant, and for a still good number, the World Series.

Sure enough, they cruised into the playoffs, ready to face an opponent who they had beaten five times out of seven during the regular season. And sure enough, there were the Cubs fans along for the ride, with the highest hopes for their team, finally destined for greatness. And sure enough, the Cubs imploded. Every element of their team—pitching, hitting, and defense—failed. It was the exact same thing that happened last year.

So why do they do it, these Cubs fans? Why do they return every year with unshakable loyalty, apparently oblivious to the tremendous pain which they suffered during the previous season? For the vast majority of these fans, a pennant victory, let alone a World Series win, has only been a distant dream. There is no rational explanation for so many people to latch onto this team which has never won anything in a hundred years. There’s absolutely no reason for anyone to devote an entire life to such consistent suffering. Many make fun of Cubs fans for this, calling them stupid and such. But I am here to say back off. It’s not their fault. Because, sadly, there is only one excuse for the seemingly illogical actions taking by Cubs fans: it’s a cult.

That’s right, a cult. What else could explain the blind worship, the mind-numbing chants, and, of course, the human sacrifice? I swear it happens. Gruesome stuff.

But honestly, think about it. People are not usually Cubs fans because of a reasonable choice. Most are only fans of the Cubs because they were brought up knowing nothing else. When you’re dressed in a blue pinstriped onesie at only a few days old, there’s not much you can do. When you’re coached to say not only “Momma” and “Dadda” but also “Ron Santo” and “Holy Cow,” there’s not much you can do. Get ‘em young, they say. Hitler did it.

However, it’s not just the early age brainwashing that makes Cubdom an obvious cult. There’s also the worship of the god-like figures like Harry Caray. He was a well-spoken alcoholic who had the uncanny ability to draw everybody in. Jim Jones, anyone?

But if the false god worship and the brainwashing don’t convince you, then what about the money issue? Most cults draw their followers in for financial profit. Have you tried to buy cubs tickets lately? Nothing decent for under forty bucks. Not to mention four dollar hotdogs and six dollar beers. You deceive them, you take their money, and then you run. It’s how cults work. Either that, or they just kill everybody in the end.

That’s why we shouldn’t be poking fun at the constant pain Cubs fans are in. We should be helping them. At this point, it’s too late for a complete intervention, so the best thing to do is to stick by the Cubs fans that you know and let them know you’re not leaving them. Eventually, they will probably come to their senses and attempt to pull themselves out of this cult. And if they don’t, then they’ll probably just all end up dead. But, truthfully, that could be much better than their present situation.