By now, most people seem to agree that swine flu (the H1N1 virus) and its “pandemic-like spread” was a little overhyped. The flu has infected a little under 6,000 Americans since it first spread to the US in April.

    Many of the people who became infected with the illness came into contact with it by visiting Mexico after the swine flu panic began. This lead to the rest of America to question these peoples’ judgments, especially since many who became infected with the flu while visiting Mexico did so several weeks after being warned not to go there.

    It is pretty safe to assume that these people are complete and total idiots with complete disregard for not only their own safety but for others’ as well. While there are no confirmed swine flu cases in Chico, there is a significant population of idiots who have complete disregard for the safety of other people.

    One prime example is what occurs during Chico’s winter. Many people become infected with the common cold, and after deciding that they are so miserable that other people want to know exactly how they feel, so they spread the cold by coughing on classmates and coworkers and not washing their hands. These people are the same people who, if given the opportunity, would be able to spread a rare virus until everyone in Chico became infected.

    Another sterling example is the reckless driving of what seems like half of Chico’s driving. I’d be willing to bet that over 20% of Chico drivers have “blinker ineptitude disorder”, a tragic disease that causes people to lose the ability to use any and all turn signals. A smaller but still significant population of Chicoans consistently runs red lights when the stoplights are missing cameras.

    In order to stop the “pandemic-like spread” of this disregard for others’ well-beings, we must take action by putting stricter laws into effect. Not covering your mouth while coughing? Two month stint in federal prison. Parking ticket? Life in prison. Speeding outside PV’s parking lot to impress your friends? The death penalty. It’s really the only feasible option if we want to stop this.