I have been a fan of the Masters of Horror movie series since its first film aired on Showtime in 2005. The series has boasted an all-star line up of indie directors, and has produced some of the scariest moments on film. That being said, The Washingtonians is not only the worst film in the series, but also one of the worst horror films ever. There is no other way to say this so I’ll just get down to it. This movie is about George Washington being a cannibal.

The plot begins as a family moves into a house that the husband, Mike, inherited from his recently deceased grandmother. While sifting through the junk in the house, Mike finds a painting of George Washington. Behind the painting he finds a letter detailing gruesome acts of cannibalism—“ambiguously” signed G.W. After about a half hour of obvious foreshadowing and cannibalism puns, Mike stumbles upon a secret group of cannibals that call themselves Washingtonians. When Mike finally realizes the whole town is made up of Washingtonians it is far too late.

Aside from the fact that the premise of this film is absolutely ridiculous, it has several other flaws. The biggest problem with this movie is the acting. The acting is so horrible that it’s hard to take any thing in the movie seriously. I can’t put the blame solely on the actors—the lines they had to work with are absolutely terrible. After hearing the fourth cannibal pun I yelled at the television, “I get it they eat people!” The pacing of the film was also very awkward, nearly nothing happens early in the movie, while the only action is reserved for the last twenty minutes. Just about the only thing good I have to say about this film is that the directing is decent. The angles are interesting, shots are well-composed, and the lighting is decent.

While this movie should be commended for its originality, it is one of the worst executed ideas ever. I’m pretty tolerant of movies with ridiculous plots, but when bad acting and bad writing are thrown in it becomes anything but tolerable. While I don’t hate The Washingtonians. I really, really dislike it.

Acting 2/10

Directing 7/10

Writing 2/10

Overall 4/10 (not an average)