So you think you’ve seen it all, right? You’re just about had it with corporate Hollywood’s cookie-cutout romance comedies, or yawning-at-your-seat action flops? Finished with remakes of remakes of remakes?



Well, strap into your seat and drag the kids with you, cause you’ll all want to witness the tour-de force that is- "GRINDHOUSE," a double feature harking back to 1970s action exploitation movies.



Complete with grainy film, missing reels, over-the-top previews, sexy lesbians, and ratings warnings-- everything about this film is simply amazing!



The film contains faux trailers featured before the first film, and in-between the films.



The first is called "Machete," about a federale from Mexico who gets hired to do hatchet jobs in the U.S. he FBI hired him to do a job for them- they betray him- and he goes out against them for revenge!



Soon after, "Grindhouse" begins with the pulse-quickening Planet Terror, the tale of small town Austin, Texas being infested with a deadly and extremely stomach-churning disease that is turning everyone infected into flesh-consuming zombies! Go-Go dancer, Cherry Darling, (Rose McGowan), loses her leg after being pulled out of her boyfriend Wray’s (Freddy Rodriguez) truck. She falls into a deep depression and cries to him, "I wanted to be a stand-up comedian!"



After Wray replaces her dismembered limb with a huge machine gun, Cherry and an entourage of mismatched rebels fight back against the deranged (and not so attractive) zombies, who could possibly take over the planet with the disease they carry.



Planet Terror also includes Fergie, Bruce Willis and Naveen Andrews, from ABC's "Lost," in supporting roles--not cameos, but actual characters. Sweet, right?



Director Robert Rodriguez takes "Planet Terror" to a whole new level of filmmaking, making it all we want it to be- Entertainment. Remember the good ole’ days when people went to the movies to be ENTERTAINED? Well, this one entertains, all right- and lots more!



Right before the second film begins we get a new set of tailors that were equally as brazen as "Planet Terror." "Thanksgiving," (directed by Eli Roth of Hostel), is basically Halloween- ya know, with the masked man slashing up teenagers- except, the slasher is NOT Michael Myers- instead, he’s dressed as a pilgrim, and it’s all based around Thanksgiving.



After that, it’s another trailer called "Don’t"- a 1970's Britsploitation meets Mondo trailer, basically featuring a growling voice telling you about a group of people who apparently went into a house they weren’t supposed to.



The last (and certainly not least) trailer was Rob Zombie’s "Werewolf Women of the S.S.," featuring Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu, Udo Kier as SS officer Franz Hess, and Zombie's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, and Sybil Danning, as SS officers/sisters Eva, (The Black Widow of Berlin), and Gretchen Krupp; this one’s about the Nazi’s doing evil experiments on women to make them into werewolves!

Next film: Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" begins.



"Death Proof" features a psychotic killer named, Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), whose apparent main goal in life is to kill young women with his souped-up stunt cars- a 1969 Chevy Nova SS and a 1969 Dodge Charger. He achieves this by "death proofing" the cars, strengthening the driving compartment in a manner similar to stunt drivers in action films.



After stalking and brutally killing local, Austin D.J. Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier), her friends, Arlene and Shanna (Vanessa Ferlito and Jordan Ladd), and hitchhiker Pam (Rose McGowan), Stuntman Mike goes off to Tennessee and finds a new group of girls. His new targets are actress Lee (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), makeup artist Abernathy (Rosario Dawson), stuntwomen, Kim (Tracie Thoms) and Zoe (Zoë Bell). During their test drive of a 1970 Dodge Challenger, Stuntman, Mike, tries to kill them with his own car. What he didn’t anticipate in was- the driver of the other car is also a stunt driver- and she’s not going to let him off that easily, even after shooting his arm!

*Spoiler Coming Up*



The movie features one of the best car chases ever captured by a camera lens; it features the cars speeding, crashing, screeching and screaming-everything you’d want to see in a good car chase. Stuntman, Mike, is badly injured after the girls finally flip his car in a wreck, and he’s beaten to death by them! Now that’s what I call a satisfying ending!

I just have to say, that I've never walked out of a movie feeling a sense of- dare I say it?- Accomplishment. Finally- not another Hollywood, corporate kissy-kissy, foo-foo shoot. It is one (or rather, two) of the best movies ever made by human beings!

I can only recommend- No, Demand- that YOU GO SEE IT!!

Cassandra gives "Grindhouse" 10 out if 5!