The author Thomas Carlyle once said, “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at distance, but to do what clearly lies at hand.” There are many different ways you can interpret this philosophy. But what was fresh on my mind was the issue of adolescent self-esteem. How many students are too busy looking at the outward appearance of their peers to try and make themselves feel better? How many times a day do we, as teenagers, compare our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths? How often do we hold back what we want to do or say because we’re afraid of looking insignificant or feeling isolated?

Oh, how easy it would be if we didn’t care what other people thought!

I was recently talking with a friend about what we usually talk about: guys. She was complaining about how the boy she likes didn’t notice her. “Do you talk to him?” I asked, and was struck by curiosity and amazement, when she replied “no”.

“I get too nervous,” she said. “He’s going to take one good look at me and think, ‘Who’s this freak?’.”

After much pushing and convincing, I got her to go up to him. They had a decent conversation, and when it was over, she said, “I was worried for nothing.”

“I was worried for nothing.”

Welcome to high school and your awkward teenage years. Feeling self conscious is a way of life. Neil Palmer for "Psychology Today" said, “The difference between embarrassment and shame is slight, but significant, and the distinction is crucial for building a protective armor of self-esteem. When we introduce our friends to a colleague and forget her name, it’s an embarrassing blow to our image, because we think others are viewing us in a negative light. If there are enough embarrassing moments that we begin viewing ourselves badly, then our self-image collapses and we feel that heavy weight of shame.”

Once a self-image collapses, a person will most likely be left feeling helpless. The only advice for that is to get rid of that feeling as soon as possible. Otherwise, it could end up as depression, a condition that takes at least four to six weeks to treat. To help minimize the feeling of unworthiness, start with the small things. For example, receive all compliments with a “thank you.” When you reject it, you’re sending a message to yourself that you aren’t worthy of praise. In return, offer a compliment back. Giving pays a positive contribution to your self-image.

There are many books and websites out there that give similar advice to raising your self-esteem, and if you feel like you’re having a problem with this issue, don’t be afraid to turn to them. It’s what they’re there for!