There was a steady humming in the theatre. There were hushed voices, flickers of camera flashes, waves of laughter. And there was that bustle of anticipation that precedes the curtain’s opening.

But behind the heavy velvet stage drape, the show was already beginning.

Junior Lorena Murray was standing in the shadows of darkness behind the curtain as the emcees announced her name to the crowd.

Her eyes were glittered in a gloss of dazzling makeup, her hair was tightly pulled back in a scrunchy, her nails were painted bright pink. The movements of her dance routine were running through her mind, jumbled with the thrill and prospect of being onstage.

And then the curtain opened.

And a smile as bright as the stage lights cracked on Lorena’s face. And the sound of the song “Fabulous” started playing from the speakers. And the flurry of Lorena’s choreographed dance finally erupted, sending the dancer across the stage.

She looked confident and competent. Her unique routine made her look like a trained dancer, an experienced performer. Lorena looked, up in front of that sold-out crowd, like your typical high school junior.

But she’s not.

And that’s what makes her third-place finish in the annual Lip Sync event in March that much more remarkable.

***

Lorena has a mental handicap. She functions between a fourth- and fifth-grade level.

“She was born a normal child,” her mother Helen Murray says. “And when she got her vaccinations at 2 years old, she had seizures and her development stopped.”

Most people’s brains develop like the left side of a bell curve – rapidly when they’re young, and then more slowly as they enter adolescence and young adulthood. But according to the American Association on Mental Retardation, people with mental disabilities are faced with sub-average cognitive functioning. That means, simply, that Lorena’s brain hasn’t developed at the same rate as her peers, but she should continue to have little spurts of learning as she gets older.

However, she won’t ever catch up.

According to Helen, doctors have says Lorena will “tap out” at the ninth-grade level.

Learning to overcome the disability

So she has a disability. And it’s been a limitation that has kept her enrolled in some special education classes.

But it’s never been enough to stymie Lorena from learning to define herself in the community, at school and in the world she lives in.

“She wants to be a part of something bigger, which is why she is so involved around school,” says Granite Bay High School special education teacher Jeff Evans. “All students need to feel a part of something, especially during their high school years.?Lorena is unique in the fact that she is super-involved in activities and is not embarrassed to show her spirit.”

The investment Lorena has made on campus and in the community has far transcended her disability.

She is an active member of the girls beginning choir. She was in Sports O’ Rama. She was in Lip Sync for two years in a row. She is a Link Leader. She is a courtesy clerk at Raley’s and “likes it very much.”

“Lorena doesn’t really get the depths of her disability, and we’re glad of that because she won’t allow the limits to be there,” Helen says. “We never want to say ‘no.’ ”

And while Helen says she and her husband make an effort to put Lorena “into situations where she’ll succeed,” their daughter enrolls herself in as many activities as she can.

“We’re always right behind her,” Helen says.

Lorena has used her family’s support as a crutch for guidance as she develops her passions.

A natural talent

“Choir is my happy place,” Lorena says. “Being on stage is my happy place. I kind of feel really good to myself when I come to school every day.”

According to mother Helen and Lorena, choir has been an instrumental part of her time at GBHS. It’s improved her social skills. It’s helped nurture a deep love of singing. And it’s taught Lorena to be confident in herself and her talents.

“She sings very well, once she learns the part,” GBHS choir instructor Jennifer Leighton says. “Reading music is tough for her, but she has a pretty good ear and does just fine in performances.”

And Lorena, in a purely humble way, is not afraid to showcase her talent. It’s not out of arrogance but rather out of the pride she has and her love of performing.

“I love to sing and I love to be in concert,” she says. “It’s never scary to be on stage, even though sometimes my hands get a little crampy. I’m very confident and the dances and the singing just come out of me.”

She certainly has no lack of experience and drive, either.

Most weekends, Helen says, Lorena performs little shows at home with her sister and friends. She “loves watching Broadway movies” and “sings and dances around the house.” She’s tried out for school productions the last three years.

Her love for performing was the fuel for her participation in Lip Sync in the spring. She performed last year, didn’t win, wasn’t fazed and was eager to try out once more.

“No one else had the guts to do (an act) by themselves,” she says. “But I did.”

Leighton says Lorena “knew exactly what she was doing” on stage and “moves very well.”

“I was not surprised,” Leighton says, “that she had the song nailed.”

But Lorena couldn’t have been more ecstatic when her name was announced as a winner. So much so, her mom says, that she was more excited about the giant presentation check that the family displayed over the fireplace than she was about actually getting the prize money.

“Lip Sync was really fun,” Lorena says, “because I’ve never won anything before.”

Coping with the reality

The shock of winning, of accomplishment, of approval and encouragement by her peers, reveals one of the grim realities of Lorena’s disability – that sometimes, the audience isn’t so nice.

Sometimes, the world around Lorena makes judgments before it appreciates the depths of her handicap.

“There are times when people only give her one or two chances because she doesn’t look or sound disabled,” Helen says. “And if she gets weird on them, they’re done.”

Emotional stimulation, like being excited or angry, has a much more visible response on Lorena than it would on other teenagers.

“There are times when she gets all these emotional responses mixed up and they don’t come out comfortable for other people,” Helen says.

That “weirdness” can be Lorena getting tense, dramatic, lowering her voice, clasping her hands.

Once the symptoms of her disability show, Helen says, some people think less of Lorena.

“If you only knew what her limitations were,” Helen says, “you’d be amazed she’s even here.”

But luckily for Lorena, she has found the security of a greater family on campus that is both cognizant of, and blind to, her disability.

“We have made it a habit to embrace everyone who walks through the door,” says Leighton. “And Lorena is no exception.”

Being accepted by most peers has been a contributing factor to Lorena’s success on campus. And while, she says, “sometimes people judge me,” Lorena is learning to handle hurtful situations and surround herself in more positive settings. Like everyone else, Lorena isn’t impervious to external judgments. But her disability makes her a bit more unfairly susceptible to them.

“The trouble I see for her comes from other people and their preconceived notions regarding a special education student,” Evans says. “Many social doors are often shut to these students because of these notions.”

More than a disability

But Lorena, he says, is kicking down those doors. And part of that journey of self-discovery has come in the prestigious invitation to participate in a state-wide forum this summer for disabled students.

Held at Sacramento State, the forum’s participants have the opportunity to meet with politicians, tour the capital and work with each other to become educated and able-minded citizens. Lorena was one of 60 students in the state picked; she endured a long application process and interview.

“The Youth Leadership Forum gives students with disabilities the skills and confidence to become leaders back in their own communities,” organizer Eddie Rea said. “Much of the program is built on disability pride and culture, which most students have no clue about before attending the program. Learning about disability as a culture rather than a medical stigma is one the most empowering parts of YLF.”

And that empowerment, that sense of civic duty and efficacy is already something Lorena is giddy about.

Like any knowledgeable citizen, she’s already got an agenda.

“I will be meeting with the governor and seeing how they do laws at the capital,” she says. “I want to ask the governor how he would run the country.”

But more than that, Lorena is looking forward to helping other people with handicaps. She’s disregarded any instinctive hubris and is instead eager about the chance to aid others.

“It feels really good to be picked for the youth leadership (forum) to help with people that have disabilities and stuff,” she says.

This is precisely what the forum hopes to foster in its participants. It’s more than the political knowledge or even the educational skits and games. It’s about nurturing a sense of self, a sense of pride, a sense of competency and perspective.

“It’s a leadership forum so they can be empowered to go further for themselves, so they can be more than just somebody in a community that can take care of themselves,” Helen says. “They can be more than that.”

And while the Disabilities Forum this summer may be the climax of Lorena’s political empowerment, she’s empowered socially – on perhaps a smaller scale – every day.

A very courteous clerk

She holds a job at Raley’s in Granite Bay as a courtesy clerk. Her responsibilities are that of any other employee, but she brings to the job a dedication and interest that’s rare.

“If people want plastic bags, I can get them plastic. If they want paper, I can get them paper,” she says. “And if they want plastic inside paper, I can even do that, too,” she says.

The “positive stimulation,” of Raley’s, Helen says, has been instrumental in further teaching her daughter communication skills, as well as a work ethic and personal responsibility.

“Raley’s gets compliments all the time on her being so helpful and smiling. But that’s just who she is,” Helen says. “She’s smiles all the time because she’s happy just about being alive.”

And an added bonus: she “doesn’t care about working Friday and Saturday nights because her social calendar isn’t that booked.”

The contacts and interactions that Lorena is able to have at these places are complementing her blossoming social life at school. And for a person with a disability, this communication is essential.

“Just saying ‘hi’ to Lorena at school, that is a friendship to her,” Helen says. “All she needs is someone to feel friendly with. And that has totally helped her self-esteem because she feels accepted, and we feel she is too.”

Lorena says she meets her friends “out in the quad.” She likes “meeting new people and singing in the choir.” She loves the security of her choir family, her Raley’s family, her biological family.

“When friends are people that say ‘hello,’ Lorena has a store full of friends at Raley’s,” Helen says. “Those two-and-a-half-minute conversations come a hundred times a day, and those are her friends. And that’s wonderful.”

That support system has been the propeller behind Lorena’s spunk, spirit and her voice. And it’s what has allowed Lorena to articulate her life ambition.

“I want to be a Broadway star,” she says, “with shows and lights and singing.”

In all the ways that matter, she already is.