Are you mocking us? Seriously, are you?

We have been wearing glasses since before we could spell the word "glasses." Do you think this is a joke? Because it’s neither funny nor cute. We wear glasses because we can’t see. (Side note: Steven is legally blind.) You wear them because they give you a nerdy look. If you want nerdy, take those glasses back to third grade where you will be called "four-eyes."

Now, at what age did it become cool to wear glasses? Was it seven? Eight? Or was it about two months ago when Chet the Mormon decided to start an Orville Redenbacher craze? Either way, it’s ridiculous. These so-called "personality glasses" are meant to add to your personality. We’d like to know what personality you’re trying to achieve.

We’re sorry to tell you, but they don’t hike up your IQ, so it can’t be that you’re trying to look smart. You just look dumb wearing something you don’t need. If we started wearing diapers, would you? We are clearly so influential.

Where are you getting these glasses? They don’t even have lenses. I could poke your eyes out. Not that we would, but still, it’s become a possibility now.

But we will give you some credit. Oversized shades are okay—but once you walk inside and pop out the lenses, you look dumb. We’re sorry. That’s a lame form of Transitions, and we actually know what those are. Christina has the real things because, clearly, she’s not cool enough to just pop out her sunglass lenses.

Try waking up in the morning only to realize that your prescription glasses are nowhere to be found. They’re on the floor and you can’t find them because you actually need them. Now you don’t even have the luxury of looking through your God-given eyes to find your glasses.

We are just sick of this, guys. It’s madness. This is almost as bad as wearing leggings instead of pants. It’s unacceptable, and, just like turtle-shell frames, this disaster of a fashion statement needs to end as soon as humanly possible.