They are the songs that take over the radio sometimes three weeks in advance of the holidays, and although they are adored by the little children and Cindy Lou Who, most would agree that the “most wonderful time of the year” comes before wintertime. To some, carols can be a form of torture; the gleeful chorus is comparable to the sound of a fly buzzing around or nails scratching a chalkboard. Ears will bleed and heads will roll when these tunes play repeatedly:

•          “Dreidel, Dreidel, Deidel!” – DREAD-EL, DREAD-EL, DREAD-EL!
•      The 12 Days of Christmas” – It’s the longest 12 days of my life. Last time I checked, Christmas stuff comes out after Halloween.
•          “Santa Baby” – Do you really think you’d fall in love with an old fat guy who is, by the way, already married?
•          “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” – A voice so annoying that you’ll cry.
•          “Jingle Bells” – The only thing jingling is the throbbing headache after you hear this song.
•          “Here Comes Santa Claus” – Yeah, here comes Santa Claus coming down your chimney…in the middle of the night…is that not a bit creepy to you?
•          “All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth” – I can knock yours out, and then you’ll be singing it next Christmas.
•          “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” – Too repetitive for its own good. It’s a constant reminder that you’re wished a merry Christmas.
•          “Jingle Bell Rock” – Image that comes to mind: Mean Girls.
•          “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” – I saw mommy signing divorce papers the next day.
•          “Christmas Don’t Be Late (The Chipmunk Song)” – Let’s face it: anything with a chipmunk voice is grating.
•          “Feliz Navidad” – We get it; everything sounds sexier in Spanish. MOVE ON ALREADY!
•          “O Christmas Tree” – Christmas tree fires kill tens of thousands* of people every year. What a morbid song.
•          “Deck the Halls” – Just don some gay apparel already.
•          “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – If you were really rocking around the Christmas tree, you wouldn’t have a Christmas tree to rock around…nothing like good ole’ head-banging.
•          “Dominick the Donkey” – If you HEE-HAW one more time!
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• *Actual statistics from the National Fire Protection Association claim that there is an average of 13 deaths annually.