Sometimes the hardest part of healing can be sharing the details of a traumatic personal event with others, but having the courage to do something difficult can also bring great rewards.

     Juan Diego Catholic High School freshman Caroline May knows how it feels to have a story few people can fully understand.   But she chose to write about her family's tragedy so that others may learn and grow from her experience.  May wrote an essay sharing her belief in the power of hope after her little sister passed away.   In the end, she found that it helped her heal, too.

      May's four-year-old sister died in 2009 after a long fight with a cancer called neuroblastoma, which is a tumor most common in children and infants.  May did not hide her sadness on the page.  “I’m pretty much an open book,” she says in her essay.  She says she never hid how she felt from anyone, including her classmates.

      May's family moved from Texas to Utah soon after her sister’s death. “I think the hardest part was not having our family or friends to comfort us anymore,” May said.  Sometimes she wishes that she could still see the places that her sister had known so well.  “There are pros and cons about the move. Because she never got to come to Utah, it almost feels like she doesn't exist here,” May said.

After the move, May began seventh grade at Saint John the Baptist Middle School.  Most people did not know about her long struggle, or even her sister, so it was hard for her to tell people about her grief and sadness.

      “Many of the kids that I coexisted with at school knew my situation but didn’t care,” May said. It seemed her story was just another thing that happened to other people.

       May knows now that people have to have compassion for other people. “I kind of realized that I can’t change anyone else,” she said. She knew that she wanted to care about others after experiencing how people did not always take the time or feel comfortable learning more about her painful story.

       May was inspired to write her feelings in an essay when one of her eighth grade teachers asked the students to write about something significant that had happened to them.   SJBMS literature teacher Angela Algarin said the assignment would make students, “stop and think about what you believe in.”  It intertwined faith with writing.  “We went through a process to bring up memories and the results of memories,” Algarin said.

     "I thought about a few times in my life and decided that this was the most powerful," May said.  "I thought that I had learned the most from it; it really shaped my life and who I am today."

     The students had the option -- with the incentive of extra credit -- to submit their essays on "This I Believe," a website for people with a passion for writing and a story to tell.  Famous and non-famous people write and record their beliefs for people to read and hear on the radio.  The essays may be broadcast on National Public Radio and published on the website by submitting them online. 

     May recently found out her essay called "My Story With the Help of Hope" was published on the website.  "She worked really hard on that essay," Algarin said.  It features a strong emphasis on how her family and friends gave her hope when she needed it most. 

     "I think I just knew that God had a plan and that He would use this for good," said May.  "I got hope from my family.  I think that it was a way to vent and I would absolutely suggest it to anyone else because it also helps you realize what you think and what you believe." 

     "At times it seems kind of odd that people care about my story.  I mean, I didn't go around telling everyone about my sister, so it feels kind of weird to think that a lot more people know now," May said. 

     May also shared her essay on her Facebook page, where many people read it and supported her.  "It was healing," she said.  "I think what is hardest is dealing with this different life because she has changed us so much," May said.  "Like the article says, the grass is always greener on the other side, so you might as well try to jump the fence while you can!"  One of May's favorite quotes by John Lennon that has inspired her says that all he wanted to be when he grew up was happy.  "I really love that and it makes me think that we will never be happy if we don't start now."  May believes that people should live in the moment.

      “Imagine the chain that we could set off with just a little bit of hope,” May says in her essay. “All it takes is a little encouragement.”

       May's entire essay can be found at http://thisibelieve.org/essay/97155/.