A Khaki clad tourist wielding a camera (otherwise know as a visitor with a pass) may enter the Savannah (Ocean Springs High School Campus) for a variety of reasons. Countless khaki clad tourists will embark on a safari. Maybe their safari will end at the tour guide (office workers and guidance), but maybe they will venture farther visiting the natives (teachers) or, if they have a dispute to settle, the tribal chief himself (Mr. Baggett). Along the way these khaki clad tourists are bound to observe the wildlife (students) that populate the Savannah. As with any Biome or exotic place, the wildlife can be divided into species (cliques). Only recently have explorers discovered the reemergence of a species once thought to be extinct: the elusive Hipster.
The Hipster first appeared in the 1930s. Little is known about the original hipster’s appearance, but it was noted that it reacted strongly to jazz music and tried to emulate the jazz musicians of the time. The reemergence of the Hipster does not seem to be the same one of the 1930s, but instead a sort of closely related species. A lot more research has been conducted on this newer species.
This species of wildlife appears to be some type of crossbreed between a nerd and a hobo. One can easily spot the hipster by his or her black, thick-framed glasses (which are nine times out of ten nonprescription and therefore nonessential, this seems to be some evolutionary glitch in natural selection that scientist are still trying to figure out), reminiscent of the nerd species. The hipster’s attire is what makes scientists the suspect that it is part hobo. A hipster’s attire is rather sloppy, generally consisting of layered garments (including fitted hoodies), over-sized skinny jeans, and TOMS, Keds or flip flops (they used to wear converse, but those are now considered “too mainstream”). A trademark of the hipster is the knit beret worn on the back of the head. Many of the Hipsters seem to have multiple piercings (the evolutionary reasons for which are still unknown). Another part of the Hipster’s appearance worthy of notice is the pouch (messenger bag) located on the hip.
The Hipster’s fur (hair) is rather unkempt, even though it has been spotted practicing hygienic activities. Despite this, the fur looks greasy and as if it has had little to no grooming. Scientists hypothesize that this unhygienic looking appearance is indeed some sort of defensive mechanism meant to ward off those who are not a part of the Hipster species.
The Hipster appears to be a vegetarian and seems to enjoy a diet consisting of soymilk and tofu. Other species are unable to handle a carnivorous or omnivorous diet due to reasons such as health or lack of the necessary gathering skills. On the other hand, the Hipster voluntarily and enthusiastically chooses the vegetarian diet despite being capable of an omnivorous diet. Scientists are baffled by the Hipster’s diet and are unable to find any possible advantage that the diet might give the Hipster in the Savannah. Scientists consider the possibility that the Hipster’s diet, might indeed be yet another evolutionary glitch in the natural selection process.
The Hipster’s behavior has been studied extensively. The Hipster is a group species tending to congregate in kindles (and people say scientists do not have a sense of humor). The Hipsters’ have their own natural environment; their kindles tend to meet in coffee shops where they down espresso and click away on their macs (The Hipster species has an affinity for Apple products despite their anti-consumer message, a contradiction that has yet to be resolved). In their kindles, Hipster’s discuss the liberal arts, foreign films and bands that no one else has ever heard of. One often hears the phrase: “I liked them before they were cool” in the Hipster language. This phrase is a dead giveaway that whoever one is talking to is indeed a member of the Hipster species.
All in all, Hipsters are an ironic, sarcastic species full of contradictions. Of course, like the honey badger, the Hipster just does not care.