As the four years’ of Obama’s administration are coming to an end, candidates are popping up quite quickly. Some of your beloved teachers have decided to take charge of this country and believe that they are the right person to lead our nation. Recent polls show Dave Uranich pulling ahead of Scott Moseley. This wasn’t a shocker to some of the students who have desired a President who will be a little crazy and pull some pranks. Uranich has promised that if elected President he will bring some fun into work environments everywhere, from national prank days to ridiculous laws. People believe that Uranich will be the next best thing to happen to the U.S.
However, Moseley feels that this is an unfair battle since Uranich is so loud. Moseley claims that Uranich’s status overpowers him, but Moseley feels that he can pull through and win the election despite his underdog status.
On a recent late night talk show Moseley and Uanich appeared together and it was full on insanity. Moseley being the more conservative man that he is, insisted on having a clean and happy time, yet Uranich insisted on playing pranks on his opponent and being the silly man that he is.
However the kind host of the late night show said Uranich was a prankster and many viewers took it as meaning he wasn’t serious about his job. The host also said that Moseley was being a bigger man whom many people took as “stuck up.” I’m sure this is not what he intended to have happen, but it did. After this misunderstanding of Moseley being stuck up and Uranich being a mudslinging, prank-pulling goofball a new candidate appeared. Many called him the underdog in the election and let us stress DOG in this case.
Many PAHS students know Baxter the Boxer, Mr. Peter Rennie’s beloved puppy. The boxer’s campaign manager is none other than his owner Rennie. Baxter and Rennie are counting on the cuteness factor and the mere fact that Baxter has not done anything to offend the voters.
Baxter has appeared in many public places to sign things, shake hands and lick babies. Yes, lick. This happy puppy has captured everyone’s heart and the race is becoming more heated. Uranich believes he’s just as loveable as Baxter and showed up to an event ready to greet the people with his wagging tail dog suit and cover babies with slobbering kisses. Uranich ran around hoping to gain the awe factor like Baxter.
However, many people found the over energetic adult odd and not what they wanted. They wouldn’t let him lick their babies or shake their hands and soon the whole event was left to just Baxter and Rennie winning and appealing to the crowd. Many people have said that it ended in an all out prank war, but no one knows for sure what actually happened that afternoon. Many say it was the end of Uranich’s chances of being the next president.
Uranich hopes that he could pull through by using Baxter’s recent illness. Baxter had a very tragic childhood of being marked as different from the rest of the litter. Whenn Baxter was young his mother kicked him in the head creating a scar on his head and many people related to him and desired to have a President who overcame many obstacles.
Once adopted by the loving Mr. Rennie, Baxter became a well-rounded and perfect candidate. The fact that Baxter’s scar was becoming an issue only made people feel bad and think if Baxter pulls through he will be the best candidate the American people. Moseley appeared to have left the race and was last seen crying tears over his lost ham bone.
Just when America thought Moseley had left the race he suddenly reappeared better than ever. Moseley had a new attitude of “whatever”. Some say he was with his teenaged daughter for too long and started to not care about the conservative things and was just relaxed and went with the flow. This was a very odd mystery.
The new and improved Moseley decided that he would do the unspeakable. Moseley teamed up with Uranich to take down this wild card known as Baxter the Boxer. Uranich and Moseley had no idea why people were falling for this inadequate candidate. They have been holding press conferences where animals are not allowed and have released live squirrels to distract the young pup at debates. None of this has swayed Baxter in his race to the top.
Who will be the next President? The conservative gone wild, the overly affectionate liberal or the wild card Baxter, who has taken over the U.S. by storm?