To The Esteemed Students and Staff of Port Angeles High School [ArticleImageHyperLink] Thursday, June 07, 2012 By Robert Stephens Advertising The end times are upon us, but unlike the book of Revelations, I see a much brighter future. The Timberline is a timeless and essential part of the school. Students may leave, teachers may retire, and seagulls may move on to less poop-covered buildings, but the Timberline will always be part of Port Angeles. The staff at the Timberline have faced its share of adversity, but in the end somehow we always come out on top, like a cheesy nineties sitcom, but with less mullets! To have been part of such a great cast of players, each performing their respective parts so as to bring you the reader, relevant, interesting news has been an honor. Of course a good 85% of all my articles were just typed rants and massive ego boosts, but there were nuggets of wisdom hidden in my articles, like diamonds hidden under a lake of cyborg lava! I know many of you barely read the newspaper and several who do simply read it to find the banana-man, but I am ok with that. On some level, I am providing you with at the very least a distraction, to ease your mind off the hardships of school and give you something to look at besides outdated textbooks and blinding white papers all day. However, just as bees slow down and turn into honey, (that’s how that works, right?) so too must the year and the publication of the Timberline come to an end, at least until next year. When you walk down the freshly waxed halls in September, soon afterwards there will be a Timberline hot off the presses for you to enjoy like a cinnamon roll filled with a double rainbow. Next year the Timberline will be run by yours truly, and Ms. Aubrianna Howell, and several of our writers will return next year to bring you the news, get into hi-jinks and generally raise Hades. The Banana-man, the unofficial celebrity spokes-fruit for the Timberline may or may not retire, but as you’ll see in the ad below, he may get some friends. Although I love putting my face in the newspaper, over the summer, please do not do anything that will earn you a mug shot and a picture in the Peninsula Daily News. The teachers of PAHS have invested considerable time and effort into making you model citizens and it does no one any good if you wind up comatose in a ditch. It takes a lifetime to build an education, but only seconds to destroy one. Don’t be the kid people say, “how sad he/she thought it was a good idea to swallow marbles!” No matter what changes alter the school, remember that you need this education if you ever want to be more in life. If it helps, imagined a wizened kung-fu master resting near a stream that pandas are swimming up, (it’s a hypothetical thought experiment, just go with it.) The kung fu master turns to you and tells you in a gravelly voice, “remember, the secret to long life is never stop breathing. EVER. Also, to cross the stream, one must step on the heads of several pandas.” Understand now? High school is an aquatically adept panda’s head, and you need to leap from its snarling head onto the head of the next soon-to-be-angry monochromatic bear if you ever want to move up in the world or get across the river. Nonsensical metaphors aside, I enjoy being known as Mr. Angry, (no one calls me that because it sounds like a villain from Rugrats), the person who is angry at everything and makes everyone else look a little bit nicer in comparison. I look forward to serving you in the future and bringing to you news you actually care about. Enjoy this last volume of Timberline issue 72, and to everyone leaving goodbye, and to everyone returning, I’ll yell at you next year!

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