Hi I’m "Secret," and I have a huge bully problem. I am one of the students you see every day. When you speak to me, I’m always smiling, but maybe you have noticed some days when I’m just not happy. Some of you have even come and asked me what’s wrong because I just can’t take the pain and abuse anymore--it’s got me thinking of suicide. Every day before school, a group of girls comes up to me and picks on me, saying they can’t wait to beat me up.

That’s so creepy because they aren’t little--they’re fat, short, tall, skinny, and big, and it just freaks me out. When I’m waiting for my mom to come pick me up, they make me want to cry, but instead I just smile.

One day I was walking down the hall with a friend, and I really don’t know what I was thinking, but they called out my name. When I turned around, I said, “Shut up and leave me alone for once!” I really shouldn’t have done that, but ugh, I was so angry. They pick on me all the time, and it’s starting to get to me. This Friday I’m supposed to get beat up by somebody, and I don’t even know by which one. That is weird.

There are just some days when I wish it could just rain so that I could walk in the rain, and nobody would know that I’m crying.

I really would have loved to have told you, but I was just too afraid to say anything. I feel like when I’m at home in my room that I’m in the safest place in the world because I know that they don’t know where I live. I don’t really have any friends; my best friend moved away, and that’s when I started to change.

I stopped talking to people because I knew that she did all the talking and when I got bullied she stood up for me. Now I don’t have anybody to stand up for me, but every once in a while, I go places with my cousins, and we bump into the girls that pick on me at the school. My cousins tell them to leave me alone, or they will have to go through them. They get scared and walk off, but it always makes things worse for me.

Ugh, sometimes I think about giving up my life, but then I think of the people I would hurt if I did. Ugh life is so confusing at times I just get super lost and half the time I feel left out sometime at times I feel like if I tell a teacher I’m getting picked on she/he want do anything or they will tell that it’s me and they will call us all in the office but I don’t want to be in the office because then they will call me a snitch and then the whole school well half the school will call me a snitch and its happened to me last year and I just really don’t want to go through it any more.

But I feel like if I tell somebody about this, I will feel more. Sometimes I think about running away. Every morning my mom drops me off for school I take to big steps then I walk into the building. When I’m on my way to class they pick on me. but I’m just so nervous after school because I’m supposed to get beat up.

My mom said to hit anybody who hit me back, but I don’t want to get put in AEP. Although that’s not what I want to do, she also told me to write a report about the bullying so that just in case anything happens they know that I put into writing what happened. October 19 was a good day--no drama, hopefully we keep it that way, dudes.

Editor's Note: Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse is not only wrong, but it can also lead to fines and jail time, so help end it, NOW. Encourage your friends and family to talk about it so that it can be stopped and be on the lookout for others abusing or being abused. If you don't stand up for them, one day maybe no one will stand up for you...