I used to love writing, until MLA
Came by and took all my laughter away
It bent me and shoved me
And really didn’t love me
Just sucked all the pizazz right out
If you write MLA, you might get good grades
A lot of high scores in the sun with cool shades
It’s very fun to spread my wings and f!y
But since MLA didn’t like it I really could cry
Just sucked all the pizazz right out
It is believed in some schools that it is okay to issue
Creative styles and not have every tissue
Have some aspect that is against the MLA rules
But that is just preposterous - creating is for fools
One must realize it sucks all of the pizazz right out of an individual
Right down to the letter - every last line
Stuff isn’t allowed; it might make you whine
Words like “I” or “a lot” or “very” or “you”
MLA takes away all the stuff that makes you you
Because one is weak by using certain vowels
Be creative! Think freely! Today is the day!
Nope! Not anymore - now we’re MLA.
And all underneath the rules and the gore
No one really quite knows what MLA stands for
Because one is weak if one expresses doubt
You know what? I’ll bet those rules I lost track of, those rules that I lose
Those goons at MLA probably don’t even use
In their own stupid papers with that perfect style
That only makes me taste my own bile
Really, it makes me want to puke.
And also I’ll bet, I’ll bet you five beavers
That MLA’s really for underachievers‘
Cuz it’s “double spaces, and extra space between paragraphs”
When all I’m really thinking is “Ugh, I don’t care… agraphs.
”It sucks when you can’t think of a rhyme.
Oh, it’s suffocating and choking me ‘round my poor neck
For it’s really sprawling my brains all over the deck
And I’m, scared - oh so scared - that I’ll run into the day
When I have no more creativeness for MLA to take away
One does not want to be stuck in formal writing forever.
And don’t get me started!
No, the real sad little goners
Are all those poor kids in English 9-Honors
The rest think they’re all arrogant, but underneath all that tough
Is a sweet, smart child who’s never good enough
No, no, they really just don’t get credit. Literally.
It’s like a scalding hot bath where you drown and choke in the suds
That’s an accurate description for the tyrannical rule of K Scudds‘Cuz we’ll study and study and rip out our hair
And after the test is over he’ll mention rules we were s’posed to have used there
WE are VERY sorry for the WHOLE LOT of STUFF that EFFECTS our grades.
And we’ve done our research and almost 100% sure of the deal
That he gives them MLA rules that aren’t even real!
All of the 3-letter acronyms and homework by the pound
Keeps them awake until the rooster sounds!
It’s really quite a lot of homework.
Now I’m not saying write essays using words like #hashtag
But really?MLA is far beyond swag
‘Cuz writing makes you fly and it really helps the brains
But the MLA style just put my wings in chains
Just sucked all the pizazz right out.