I once knew a girl; at the time she was a freshman, she had friends and a loving mother yet something didn’t feel right. She felt lost in her own head. She was searching for something, anything to hold on to and love but no one knew. She didn’t think anyone would understand the daily struggles she went through. Life just didn’t seem worth living so she took drastic measures. She overdosed.

   Suicide, a word that should not be used lightly when the meaning is put into play. “Go kill yourself” and “I want to die” has become a common phrase for teens while trying to bring others down or express their frustrations, however; do people realize what they’re saying?

   When telling someone to kill themselves in a joking manner one should realize it’s not funny at all. Suicide is real, it’s not something that is just on TV and in movies, it happens on a daily basis. Every day there are approximately 11 teen suicides according to teensuicidestatistics.com.

    I learned today that you never really know someone. You may know things about them but you don’t know who they are or what goes on in their head. The words one says to another in a joking manner have different meanings to other people. Words can kill, maybe not literally but definitely spiritually, some can only take so much. 

   Suicide has become more common than it should be, whether it is a teen, adult, or advertised in songs and movies. There are people who feel like they no longer belong, and that is not okay.

   Suicide doesn’t mean one is weak, it means they didn’t realize that the problems their having aren’t as permanent as taking their own life.

   At some point almost every teen questions their meaning: why they were put on this earth. Some may find this reason in loving family and friends; others may not find the love in life. Suicide is not only in teens life, even adults are faced with the brutal realities of life and sometimes those realities are too hard to handle.

    The girl from the beginning of this article was me, three years ago. There’s no easy way to explain why I resorted to such a drastic decision but one thing’s for sure, I’m glad I’m still alive today.

   My eyes opened and I was hooked up to a hospital bed and IV’s I didn’t quite grasp what was happening. My mom was there and that’s when I knew how much of a mistake I had made, the relief on her face is cemented into my memories. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I didn’t take into account the people who love me, and how it would impact their life. I was selfish; I was so wrapped up in my own pity that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I felt like I didn’t belong; like I was born at the wrong time and I just didn’t fit in.

   When it settled in that I was going to live, I think that’s when I could finally breathe again: finally appreciate everything I have, not everything I didn’t have. This world can be a cruel place, but you have to make the most out of it and take bad experiences and turn them into lessons learned.

   If you or someone you know feels alienated, left out, or just sad, you should know your life matters and you’re not alone. I know from experience how hard things can be. Reaching out for help is difficult, I didn’t want to live either but I got lucky, I got a second chance. If you feel that you are suicidal or someone you know is suicidal please call this hotline 1-800-273-8255.