Another day of thanks is just over the horizon

and I fi nd myself, for some reason, craving turkey.

Yes, I know, at this time of the year such a dilemma

may seem perfectly natural to almost every reader,

but I assure you it is not.

I don’t even like turkey. In fact, on any given day

I would go out of my way not to eat turkey. It usually

turns out dry and leaves a stale taste in my life, and

the only salvation rests in nearly suffocating the meat

with gravy. If turkey was a day, it’d be a Tuesday.

Those suck. A lot.

Yet for some reason, my acknowledged

frustration with the bird does little to calm my

excitement. I can not wait till November 22nd. I

don’t consider myself all that religious, but I can

confi dently say that this inexplicable longing for

turkey made me want to go to synagogue to fi nd

the answer.

After much deliberation, I concluded that it isn’t

the turkey that entices me. No, it is the correlation

my mind has so sturdily constructed that links the

food with the long break it brings.

Because of the glorious holiday of Thanksgiving,

public schools grant students two days off. Thinking

of those wonderful days off, I wondered what made

the holiday so special to warrant itself two breaks

from education.

In a nutshell, the holiday is celebrating a

successful end to the seasonal harvest. As traditions

tell us, to express our gratitude for teaching us to

farm in the New World, we provided the Native

Americans with a huge feast (and raped their

women, gave them diseases, and stole their land, but

that’s beside the point).

This holiday teaches us a great lesson of being

thankful for what we have. But, in deeper thought,

what kind of message does giving this holiday

two days off of school send? Are other holidays’

messages being disrespected in not observing their

sanctity?

What about Columbus Day? Veteran’s Day?

Valentine’s Day? How about Groundhog’s Day?

National Pirate Day? National Biodiesel Day? World

Leprosy Day? Plan Your Epitaph Day? Have a Bad

Day Day? Free Hug Day? Maple Syrup Day?

We don’t even bother to honor the Native

American equivalent of our Thanksgiving, You’re-

Welcome-Giving.

The omission of these holidays from the

MCPS calendar is blatantly offensive and ultimately

counterproductive to society at large. No, I am not

asking for two days of school back -- I don’t like

school that much -- but changes must be made.

What I am asking for is for the school system

to equally honor the holidays our nation’s people

embrace. Whether people prefer to celebrate giving

thanks or guzzling maple syrup should not be

decided by the schools.

The only way (and I repeat, only way) to make

sure each holiday is properly represented is to grant

each holiday a day off of school, and according to

my calculations, that leaves us with a grand total of zero days left of school this year.

Enjoy your turkey and have a good summer, and

winter, and spring.