Recently, crop circles have been discovered in the Bermuda Triangle, which is a triangle in between Florida, Bermuda, and the Bahamas. Strange things happen in that triangle, such as ships and airplanes disappearing. Some claim that they are kidnapped by UFOs piloted by aliens. A separate phenomenon, crop circles, have been observed on some farms. They are not always circular, and are somewhat unexplainable, because the farmers claim not to have made them with their tractors or lawn mowers. Some claim that UFOs made the crop circles. UFOs have also been blamed with theft of cows.

More recently, crop circles were claimed to have been discovered in the Bermuda Triangle. The government denies it. This appearance was met with skeptism, such as, “How can crop circles be formed in water?” These skeptics are now missing. The answer to their question, however, was that the crop circles were in the seaweed that was grown there for agricultural purposes, though some skeptics have claimed them to have narcotic effects. These skeptics are also missing. There was an independent (not government-sponsored) investigation, but it was quickly dropped. Some skeptics say it was due to a government request. These skeptics are missing, like the others.

A new investigation started, and it discovered Bigfoot’s involvement. He, according to government records, received payments from the unnamed government agency. According to records, he was the pilot of one flying saucer. However, more than one flying saucer was seen. Some skeptics said that there were no flying saucers, but government records show that it paid these skeptics to say this. Also, genetic research on Bigfoot, seemingly conducted by the government, showed that he was actually a cow.

Later government records showed an import from Nepal. Further inquiry put some of the inquirers into jail, for “obscuring a government operation”. However, more inquiry found records that a yeti was paid to pilot another flying saucer. Still, more than two flying saucers were seen. Genetic research showed that the yeti is a mutated cow.

Another investigation showed a strange genetic strain in cows. This was investigated, and it was discovered that cows are not beings of Earth. They are aliens. Further investigation yielded records of cows selling flying saucers to the government. Cows allowed themselves to be exploited and eaten by humans, while they were colonizing Earth and preparing to eat the humans. Sometimes they escaped on their flying saucers.

Several days later, after a major Colombian drug lord was captured for selling narcotic seaweed to children, he gave away the names of many U. S. agents who, he claimed, sold him the seaweed. Soon, the pieces were put together, and people realized that the government bought flying saucers from cows, learned how to pilot the flying saucers from Bigfoot and the yeti, then piloted them to harvest narcotic seaweed from the bottom of the Bermuda triangle. Anyone who stumbled upon their operations disappeared. Now, that the government’s operations have been revealed, it plans to shut them down.