I hope that Camille Adana doesn’t read this article. Or Eleanor Bray. Or anyone who thinks that hall decorations are a valuable, integral and vital asset to our Homecoming Week and school community in general. Because I hate them. And, no, I don’t have facts to back it up, or valid reasoning, or constructive criticism, just an ever-running fountain of hatred.

Usually when I complain about something, I start out with explaining it thoroughly in a sarcastic, condescending way. But I won’t waste my time because I know that everyone reading this is thoroughly aware of how hall decs work. Like me, you’ve been forced to listen to people talk about them like they’re more important than a bunch of paper stuffed between locker aisles. People interrupt your second period class to make announcements about meetings where students willingly discuss them. And in your grade there are about 20 people who take them way too seriously. I don’t even need to name them because you already know who they are. (Here’s a hint: they probably went to the Homecoming assembly with one half of their face painted green, and the other half painted gold.) 

For one week a year, we care about the halls of our school more than anything else. Seniors who should be stressing over college applications are stressing over fabric costs. Freshmen who used to fret about locker combinations fret about song lyrics. Our school becomes a class system, where those at the top know how to tape paper over lockers and those at the bottom forgot to dress up for spirit week. (I was sick, OK?!)

Does the end justify the means? Is it worth spending one meeting a week discussing, planning and creating a hallway that can (and will) be torn down in about 10 minutes? Is it worth the grand prize of gloating? What does creating a hall based on a theme prove, besides the fact that you had a lot of free time? Why is this the particular way we insist on showing our school pride? What is it representative of, besides our completely irrelevant homecoming themes?

But here’s the icing on the ridiculous cupcake: What do you think happens to enough stuff to fill four halls when we are done using all of it? Who is in charge of making it get recycled? And what about all the money we’ve wasted filling four halls? Isn’t there a better use for that? Do you know how much good you can do in the world with all the money that Cleveland spent on hall decorations this year? A lot of good. And even if it’s not a lot of good, it’s still more good than hall decorations did in the first place.