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Friday, May 25, 2012 By Nick Keith
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An Irish burglar getting stuck in a door’s letter box, a Pennsylvania man high-fiving a cop for giving him a DUI charge and a Chinese-crested Chihuahua mix being voted “ugliest dog” all prove that strange news is international.
Back in the U.S.A., the top bidder in the race for a Chicken McNugget resembling George Washington backed out after bidding at $8,100. Nebraska native Rebekah Speight had the presidential nugget sitting in her freezer for over three years before deciding to sell it to raise money for a fundraiser to send children to church camps during summer. The rules and regulations for eBay state that since the highest bidder chickened out of the deal, Speight can offer the nugget to the second-highest bidder at $8,000, followed by the third-highest bidder, etc.
Heading North to Trenton, New Jersey, city-owned organizations are running low on a major necessity: toilet paper. The newest battle of Trenton is between the city mayor’s administration and its paper product supplier. The City Council rejected a $42,000 contract multiple times over a concern about a high unit price for hot drink cups, leaving many senior citizen centers, police headquarters and other city owned organizations with a short supply of paper amenities. The city mayor’s administration has removed the cups from the contract hoping for a compromise.
Back at the west coast, a Seattle man’s marriage took an unfortunate turn after Facebook made a suggestion for two women to be friends. The problem: the women were married to the same man, at the same time. Alan O’Neill, who was previously Alan Fulk in his first marriage, left his first wife because of marital problems, but neither spouse filed for divorce. Fulk changed his name last December and later that same month married his second wife. Everything fell apart when Facebook suggested wife number one to friend request a person she may know. Upon perusing the potential friend’s page, she noticed the peculiar profile picture; her husband stood along with another woman next to the couple’s wedding cake. Wife number one made a few calls, including wife number two’s mother, and the lawsuit began soon after. O’Neill/Fulk is now facing bigamy charges. Pierce County Prosecutor Mark Lindquist claimed, “About the only danger he would pose is marrying a third woman.”
A female of a different species, “Godzilla” the wild turkey has forced members of a Michigan township to be stalked, harassed, and trapped in their homes. The 25-pound turkey has followed, bumped and clawed at many inhabitants of the township, including 69-year-old Edna Geisler. Geisler changed her daily routine just to avoid the beast, leaving at six in the morning to go to the post office. The turkey is pestering many local inhabitants near its nesting place in the woods nearby. Rick Reid, another neighbor to Godzilla, has seen the turkey trying to enter his minivan and house, and was also bitten on the elbow. Local wildlife experts believe that the best way to drive the turkey out of the property is to run at the fowl with a large open umbrella, with the opposed aggression hopefully forcing the turkey to retreat to its nest for good. Geisler needs the turkey to be gone by summer so she can work in her outdoor garden. “Every time I eat turkey I smile,” said Geisler, “I’d like to do that to him.” On an unrelated note, hunting season opens in April.
In a world where a saint’s preserved heart was stolen from a cathedral in Ireland to a town in Wyoming being auctioned off at $100,000 with its only inhabitant retiring, it is no surprise how strange and newsworthy our world has become.
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Issue Date: Thursday, May 09, 2013
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