1. Plastic flowers

Funny smelling and impersonal, plus they’re something you could pick up at a funeral home

2. An enlarged picture of yourself

Gosh, vain much?

3. A video game

Ladies, if you ever want your boyfriend to spend time with you again, avoid this like the plague

4. A special, personal date ... at McDonald’s

Need I say more?

5. A puzzled look and the words, “That was TODAY?”

Yeah, what was your first clue?

6. Two words: Tube socks

7. A T-shirt reading “I LOVE (insert your name here)”

Do you hate them enough to make them look like a giant candy heart?

8. A crumpled $5 bill and a pleading look

9. A date with you after you’ve doused yourself in so much perfume, a cloud follows you everywhere

If you want your date to die from exposure, go ahead.

10. An orange angora sweater

Bad enough, but wait ’til he or she realizes your mom has the same one ...

11. A box of candy, missing several pieces

No one’s going to believe your DOG ate all of the caramels, okay?