For most teens, starting a conversation with their parents is like trying to talk to a wall—nearly (if not completely) impossible. Many kids in high school turn instead to their friends for counsel, encouragement, or comfort. The mere thought of telling your mom about that cute guy in your Spanish class or looking to your parents for consolance about the general perils of high school is enough to send some kids over the edge. But is it remotely possible that perhaps by not talking to our parents, we’re missing out on some good advice from people who have, more or less, already been in our shoes?

                Studies show that teens avoid talking to their parents for a variety of reasons. The first is that they don’t know how to make the first move and initiate the discussion. An overwhelming number of kids are under the false pretense that their parents don’t care or wouldn’t be able to help them with their problems, when it’s simply a case of the overwhelmed parent who is too preoccupied to notice, and the shy son or daughter, who doesn’t know how to attract their notice.

                The experts say that once you get past this miscommunication barrier, kids will have a much easier time relating to their parents, and vice versa.   

                So if you’re ready to take the plunge and start talking to your parents, start doing exactly that. Set aside a time when you know your parents aren’t busy multi-tasking, which includes paying bills, making dinner, or watching TV. Secondly, don’t beat around the bush. Come right out and say what you need to. It’s important to express interest in your parents’ lives, too. Lots of kids find that the simple question “How was your day?” can get your parents attention and open up a conversation immediately.

                Sometimes parents can be a little clueless. If you don’t come right out and ask “Can we talk?” they might not notice that you need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen. Contrary to the universal idea that they’re just robots who make you do your homework and finish your chores, parents are human beings, too. They’ve already been on that winding, looping, up-and-down rollercoaster that is teen angst, even if it was thirty years ago. 

Taking that first step of communicating with your parents can be daunting. But in the end, you’ll probably find that the more you talk to and get to know your parents, the more you’ll both be able to understand each other.

                Remember, no one said you have to read your diary out loud to your dad. But knowing that you have someone to talk to besides a wall—well, that’s a relationship worth having.