What is chivalry? When many people hear that word, they may think of the quote “chivalry is dead.” Unfortunately, every day I see women that aren’t getting the respect they deserve. Come on, guys, we all know that the ladies are better than us at just about everything except maybe an arm wrestle. Or a burping contest. Whoop tee do. So show them the respect they deserve. All the time, I see some guy treating a girl like garbage. I don’t care who you are or where you come from, no one, especially our awesome Davis girls, deserves to be treated with disrespect.

Don’t get me wrong here, most guys I know are real gentlemen and show proper respect toward women. To all of you dudes that do, I wholeheartedly congratulate you and give you a gold star of approval. You’re the kind of guy that knows his stuff. I’m proud of you, man.

Once again, don’t misinterpret what I’m saying: girls are totally capable of handling themselves. She doesn’t always need some knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her every ten minutes (have you ever seen a Davis lacrosse game?). What I am saying is: guys, we all know who’s really in charge. Treat her like it.

Wait, some of you guys don’t know how? Sigh… time for a refresher course in chivalry 101.

The first and most obvious kindly behavior is to be nice. Be nice, be nice, BE NICE! If you can’t do this, you’re in such deep trouble, you can’t see the bottom. Second, open the door for her. Sometimes girls don’t want you to do this because it means you think they are incapable and weak. Girls are not weak. But you say, “how come they lose in an arm wrestle?” That is not strength; that is force. Strength is my mother. She can cook meals, vacuum the entire house, wash the dishes, tend my nephew, change the light bulbs, clean enough dust to give someone the black lung, address, seal, and send five thousand PTA letters, and do errands with her eyes closed. Then, in the afternoon, she can end world hunger, stop a terrorist organization, denounce a regime, find Osama, and deal with me, all on the phone. This is strength. And every girl possesses this potential. Once again, treat her like it.

I could go on forever on how to treat women like queens, but I don’t have to. You’re smart guys; you go to Davis! Treat her right, and she will appreciate it, I promise. And always, always remember: if I catch you treating a young lady badly, I will rip your nose off and tear your liver out. Have a nice day!