Westside High School’s football team faced loss after loss each week; however, that’s nothing to their star player, Hakeem Etti who knows what a real loss feels like.   

            When Etti took the field each week, he did more than hope for a good game.

 “I say a prayer, talk to my mom and go play the game,” the tailback said.

            The teenager’s mom died November 22, 2008 when he was a sophomore in high school. Etti’s mother, Addie Williams, was diagnosed with lupus and began having kidney failure when he was eight years old – something the teen said destroyed him. He even considered dropping out of school, but he found refuge in football and started aiming for A’s in school.

            “Football has taught me great things like leadership and how life doesn’t always go as planned,” Etti said. “The most important thing football taught me is how to lose.”

Number 33 explained how football was more fun prior to his mother’s death.

            “I didn’t worry about a lot, didn’t have any concerns, my biggest concern was what’s mom cooking when I get home from practice?” he said with a laugh. “Afterwards, I started to look at football as a job; I started to look at it as my only way out, to ensure a better life for myself.”

            With a smirk on his face, he explained how he hated spaghetti because he knew it was either that or fried chicken for dinner.

“It was hard for me to sit there and see that we didn’t really have a lot of help,” Etti said. “It wasn’t nice when we had to eat the same thing for dinner four times in a row

“But she made the most out of it, even though I would get down and sad and I would cry and pray for a better life,” he said. “I would wish I could get some money to give her, I said that when I got older I would buy her all these nice things. She always told me she never wanted it.”

            With tears in his eyes, he explained how his mother smiled through it all.

 “No matter what, she smiled,” he recalled.

            “Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don’t want to move. Everything is coming in at once from different angles… life is hard. But I wouldn’t say I’m overwhelmed, I wouldn’t look at it that way,” he said.

            When asked if there are times he ever wants to give up, he quickly answered.

“All the time, it’s what makes continuing to go so special,” he said. “There are always times I want to just stop and quit, and then I start thinking about how life would be if I wasn’t playing or if I wasn’t doing something. But you got to see things through till the end.”

            Throughout his ordeal, the 18 year old said that Coach Mark Byrd has always been there for him, checked up on him, made sure he had food in the house.

            “It makes Hakeem more of a leader right now because the kids are feeding off of him emotionally and vocally granted he wants to win, it makes him focus,” Byrd said when asked about the team’s losing streak. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from Hakeem. He’s been through loss, so he knows how to deal with loss right now.

“He feeds off of self pride. He feeds off of positives. He’s not going to let a negative bring him down,” Coach Byrd added.

Etti said he truly appreciates his teammates being there for him during his darkest time.

             “They helped me by being understanding. They understood that I was in a dark area and they didn’t want to push me out of it. They kind of guided me, but at the same time made sure I was moving at the same pace… made me feel like life continues,” he said. “They never brought it up, they made me feel like I was a normal kid again…that really showed me that they had my back.”

            Etti is not the only one whose life has been affected. His teammate and close friend Cade Laufer’s has too.

            “He’s a great guy, he’s always there when I need a hand and a friend,” said Laufer. “He has been one of my biggest motivators since my injury. He assured me everything will be OK and has filled me with hope knowing that everything happens for a reason.”

            When asked what his most difficult transition has been, Etti said it would have to be growing up.

            “There comes a time when everybody has to grow up, that’s something you can’t fight. Some take longer than others and I truly envy that because I didn’t have the luxury of being a kid, to being a teenager, to being an adult,” Etti said. “To me, it feels like I skipped stages so fast. I was a kid and I went to being a teenager before being a teenager and then I became a man.”

            Etti, who moved in with his father, said he continues to look out for his siblings.

            “Even though I’m the baby, the youngest out of all my siblings, I feel in my heart that I’m the oldest, so I try to set examples for them. I would hope that they look up to me,” he said.

Like any other football player, his dream is to make it to the NFL, but he also has his feet planted on the ground in case his plan fumbles.

“I’ve had the dream since I was three that I’ll be playing in the NFL, so hopefully in 10 years I will be pro,” Etti said.

Even though he has a big dream, he said that he truly values the concept on being a student athlete and wouldn’t mind one bit graduating from college with a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management or Marketing.

“Gotta have a plan B,” Etti said. “Plan B is just simply to stay in school, go to college, graduate, and do everything my mom would have wanted me to do.”

When asked what keeps him going and what keeps him in school, Etti took a while to answer.

“My mother’s voice in my head, she wakes me up in the morning,” said Etti as he cleared his throat. “I can hear her telling me to wake up saying, ‘Boy get up and go to school. Make something of yourself.”

Etti said there are many things he would say to his mom if given the chance.

“There’s thousands of things I would say, thousands of things I would apologize for, but mainly the one thing that always comes to my mind is tell her how much I love her and how much she inspires me,” the senior explained. “The morning she left for dialysis, she told me goodbye.  I didn’t tell say I love you mom but I thought I would tell her when she got back.”

But she never returned home, Etti said. The family received a phone call about her death that afternoon.

“I never got to say it, never got to tell her. That’s my biggest regret but I’m sure she knows even with the fact that I never said it for the last time,” he said with tears in his eyes.

Etti said his hardships have made him into the man he is today, a man who doesn’t mind a lost because he is always hoping for a win.  

“You find out who you really are when you go through hard things. Even though that was a dark area of my life, it made me a better person somehow coming through it. It showed me who my real friends are, showed me who I can really trust, showed me the value of family, showed me how to love, showed me not to take time for granted,” Etti said, “If I want something, I go get it because I never know what tomorrow holds.”

Even as the Westside Wolves face a 2-6 record, when Etti suits up to tackle through the game, he wears a smile knowing his mother is watching him.

“She’s always there with me,” he said with a smile.