When Great Leader Kim Jong-il died in December 2011, the world was thrown into a panic. The first and foremost concern was what would happen to popular blog Kim Jong-il Looking At Things, which features pages and pages of images of the Great Leader looking at random objects. Another pressing concern was the role his son, Kim Jong-un, would have to fill.
Firstly, it’s almost impossible to imagine anyone rocking women’s sunglasses and hats the way Kim Jong-il did. Oh, yeah, and he has to rule North Korea. But perhaps the Great Leader isn’t dead for good. Recent reports have indicated that North Korea is well underway on a program to revive the late Kim Jong-il. Kim Jong-un said, over a warm bowl of Gerber’s baby food, “We are going to revive my father in a few months time.”
The technological prowess to undertake such a project is doubted, but North Korea is insistent on its ability to achieve its goal. No one is sure what the ramifications of Kim Jong-il’s revival will be, due to the fact that his leadership created a nation with relatively unstable tendencies, but it’s certain that tensions between the United States and North Korea will soar, since it was believed Kim Jong-il had “big plans” before his passing.
How the Great Leader is being revived is not entirely unknown, but the method allegedly involves Mentos, Diet Coke, and methamphetamines. Scientists have been laboring away in deep, secretive underground bunkers to return the leader to his original greatness, or even beyond his greatness.
When he was alive, he was very self-conscious about his height, and his people are spending vast amounts of money to make him taller. Kim Jong-un said, “My great father will be as tall as I am round.” Kim Jong-un admits that his time as ruler of North Korea has been difficult. “Wearing old sunglasses, looking at random objects, and being a living god isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I really look forward to my father’s return, so he can take over this crazy train.”
We all anxiously anticipate the Great Leader’s return.