Popular culture is filled with sassy teen moms who burp their newborn babies with perfectly quaffed hair.
Is this extended Garnier commercial the reality of what it’s like to be a young parent?
Once a taboo subject, teen mothers today have an easier road to travel than their predecessors due to the resources and opportunities available to them.
However, there are still difficulties along the way, and they can rattle the strongest young woman.
Two 2011 graduates and teenagers, discussed adjusting to being a mother.
“My life has changed dramatically,” Cassandra Drayfahl, a 2011 Buena High School graduate, said. “Everything I say and do has an effect on my child.”
Drayfahl, who gave birth to her daughter at 15, noticed how differently her peers treated her once they found out she was pregnant, and at times, it “was so hard.”
Priscilla Whitlock-Coates, the Regional Director of Childhood Resources at the Child & Family Resources Program, notes that young mothers under 20 are new at running their own lives, let alone, another one’s life.
“It’s definitely a challenge to add another individual into the mix,” she said. “It’s difficult to adjust.”
Drayfahl said, “Being in school sucked when I was pregnant.”“I felt like everyone was judging me, giving me dirty looks, [and] saying mean comments when I would walk by.”
Drayfahl believes the biggest misconception of teen mothers is that they are promiscuous. “Until you know the exact situation you should never judge,” she said.
Whitlock-Coates agrees, citing that many people have preconceived ideas about teen mothers.
According to Whitlock-Coates, many people assume teen mothers have trouble at home, are no longer in a relationship with the father of their child and are doing poorly in school.
“That’s not always the case,” she said.
Having overcome the taunting remarks and comments from years ago, Drayfahl recognizes the birth of her daughter as a blessing.
“You never know how much you can love someone or something until you love your child,” she said.
Today, Drayfahl sees her life as less stressful with her child than when she was pregnant in high school.
She has become a certified nursing assistant and is currently enrolled in classes at Cochise College.
Drayfahl has had a lot of help from her mother, who has “done nothing but support [her].” She currently lives at home with her parents and daughter.
For teen parents who don’t have such support, there are a variety of programs available to help.
The Child & Family Resources Center offers home-based programs that help develop parenting skills.
Despite enjoying her new life as a mom, Drayfahl does miss the wild abandon of youth.
“[I miss] the freedom and carelessness of not having any major responsibilities,” she said.
Watching her friends and peers move to universities has been difficult, too.
“[It’s hard] watching all of my friends live the college life, like partying and [going to] sports events. I won’t ever get that because I have a bigger responsibility,” she said.
Dating can be challenging. “Being in a relationship when you have a child that isn’t that person’s is hard,” she said. “Because not a lot of guys my age can understand that she is my number one priority.”
Another 2011 graduate, Amelia Ochoa, gave birth to her son at 17.
“My life has changed so much for the better since having my son. I think before I do things now and how they will affect my son and my family,” Ochoa said. “I am so much more responsible.”
Everything hasn’t been rosy, though. There have been trials since giving birth in August 2010. Like Drayfahl, Ochoa misses her freedom.
“The biggest challenge at first was just the lack of sleep, but now that Luciano is older, the biggest challenge is trying to juggle being a teen still and yet being a mom,” she said.
Despite her positive outlook, Ochoa recognizes that she didn’t plan on becoming pregnant at a young age.
“People tend to think that we all wanted to get pregnant, but it’s not that we wanted to,” she said.
Ochoa has noticed it’s not only the “easy” girls who get pregnant. She said, “Any sexually active woman can become pregnant, whether you are a 4.0 GPA student or just an average Joe.”
Like Drayfahl, Ochoa noted how people treated her differently while still in high school.
“The most difficult part about being in school while I was pregnant was the stares I would get from everyone in the halls,” she said.
With films like “Juno” and television shows like “Sixteen and Pregnant” in the social consciousness, Ochoa believes young motherhood is somewhat glamorized in popular culture.
“Everything seems to work out perfectly in the end. Or when the woman gives birth they make it seem painless,” she said.
It doesn’t always end perfectly. According to Whitlock-Coates, many teen moms are limited by barriers of having a child so early, leaving them working minimum wage jobs and not able to pursue further education.
Drayfahl sees what these films and television shows get right, citing, “I think the only thing pop culture gets right about being a young parent is how much you fight with the mother or father of your child,” she said.
However, Ochoa says her relationship with the father of her child has been strengthened through the birth of their son.
“We are eager to raise our son together,” she said. “We communicate more and we are just amazed that we could create a living being,” Ochoa added.
Regardless, Ochoa advises the current students of Buena to be responsible for their actions. “If you are going to be sexually active and you are not ready to become a parent, use precautions. Don’t ever say it won’t happen to you.”
“Don’t become another statistic. Try your hardest to finish school,” she added.