When I was six years old my mother was diagnosed with “Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma B-cell” cancer. My mother’s doctor told her that her type of cancer was “inoperable and aggressive” which in means it is not able to get rid of by surgery and is becoming stronger and stronger by the hours. My mother almost had a heart attack just thinking that she had just been  diagnosed with cancer, but it was even harder for her to think of how she was going to let me know.

    I don’t remember much on how my mother told me, I recall she sat me down and told me she would soon be getting severely sick, and wouldn’t be around much. As a little six year old boy, I didn’t understand, so I just played along and told her I would miss her deeply, not knowing exactly what was going on.

As weeks went by, I noticed my mother was right; she was rarely at home, since she spent most of her time in the hospital, and when they did let her come home, she was only home for  two days, then she would  go straight back to the hospital.

Because my mother had been getting chemotherapy for the past year, it took a lot out of her; she was very gaunt, and no longer had eyelashes, eyebrows, or hair for that matter. Since she was in the hospital for so long, I frequently went to visit her. I remember my family keeping me outside of her door because she had to get ready and put on a hat so I wouldn’t see her bald, but I was her son – I didn’t mind, I just really wanted to see my mother who I hadn’t seen since I was six, and I was now seven.

I remember walking in that room, up to her bed, saying to her, “Mom! When are you coming home? Grandpa is driving me nuts!” As doctors always say, when a patient goes through chemotherapy, there may be a period of time when they feel better, but then they relapse in a matter of a split second. The doctors say if you relapse it’s good because then they know the chemotherapy is working, so you don’t have to worry. My mother did relapse, but it wasn’t at the hospital, it was in my bathroom and  I witnessed it.

    When my mother returned home from the hospital, she was very feeble, and quite often had to go to the restroom late at night. One night, my grandpa walked her to the restroom, and then I heard a scream. My mother had collapsed, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. My grandfather went to the bedroom to bring my mom a pillow, and afterwards called the ambulance. Luckily, we lived right next to my uncle, so I frantically ran to call him. I was scared; I didn’t know what was going on. I wanted to cry, but I knew I shouldn’t, at least not until everyone was gone. When I finally reached my uncle, he ran back to the house. Although my memory is quite fuzzy, I do remember my uncle’s wife showing up right as soon as the paramedics came and my mother was being lifted and taken away from me on a gurney. We met my mother at the hospital, and were soon notified she had relapsed and there wasn’t anything they could do at the moment, so they were going to send her to San Antonio for a better treatment. They started lifting her to a helicopter pad, since that was the fastest way they could get her to San Antonio, and I ran after her, screaming in agony – trying to get a hold of my mother, who was now leaving. I was terrified; I didn’t know whether I would ever see her again. I don’t want to let her go, only for her to never come back to me. I put up a good fight, but my family eventually held me back from leaping into the helicopter. After that incident, it never happened again, and my mother is now thirty-eight years old. She has been cancer free for nine years, and only has one more year to go before it is permanently gone.

    To be honest, I wouldn’t have become who I am without my family. When my mother relapsed, my older cousin was there to hold me and tell me everything would be okay. When my mother was in the hospitals for months, my grandfather took care of me and told me the most wonderful things about my mother. Even my own mother would tell me, “everything is going to be okay, God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, and baby I am kicking butt” regardless if she didn’t believe it herself.