He pressed the sharp object to his throat.

"It must have been one of the worst days of the bullying. When I went downstairs, I wasn’t planning on suicide, but when I saw the sharp object, I thought I had found the ‘solution…’"

That day in sixth grade brought senior Matthew Johnson (not his real name) to a secluded basement. It was here he contemplated removing years of pain from his so-called friends’ bullying.

"I sat with the sharp object at my throat," Matthew said. "I don’t remember if I actually was starting to do it or if I just thought about what would happen if I did. I’d contemplated death before, but what stopped me was knowing that if I did this, it would mean they won. It would mean I let them get in my head. And in the end, I knew I couldn’t go through with letting them break me."

Some of those bullies had been targeting Matthew since his early elementary years. He endured the same things every day in part because he was "a nerd."

"I was tall, skinny and was pretty awkward and hyper, and ironically, it was the other ‘nerds;’ my former friends, who were my main tormentors," Matthew said. "It wasn’t so much of the name-calling, although that happened a fair amount, but mainly it was how they avoided me and pushed me away any time I tried to hang out with them. I don’t know why I continued trying to be their friend. Maybe it was because at the time, they were the only friends I had ever had."

Later that week, Matthew told his parents about his pain and the events that had unraveled in his basement. Their love and concern brought him to seek psychological help.

Eventually, after meeting with middle school counselors, the bullying died down, but in seventh grade, Matthew retaliated against another bully.

"He was extremely disrespectful and mean to everyone, including my bus driver and me," Matthew said. "After all the bullying I had put up with already, this guy pushed me to my breaking point. I gave him a bloody nose, but after that, I just held him in a headlock. I didn’t want to beat him up; I just wanted to show him he couldn’t treat people that way."

Now, Matthew has a mission. His mission will not be accomplished all in a day’s work, but he said he hopes that by sharing his story, he can help people to care more about each other even if they’re not a friend.

Also, he wants to get the word out to those who need help and let them know they can talk to someone and get support. For Matthew, that support was through therapy.

"I have been going to a therapist for a couple years," he said. "Originally, it was to help with social situations, but I didn’t want to go to a ‘shrink’ because emotionally I was fine by that time. After the first visit, I realized it’s much different from what I thought. My therapist is more of a mentor and friend to me, and we actually joke around with each other and get along great. Therapy is not what people think. No one should be afraid to get help."

If someone is seeking help, Matthew wants others to know that he will be there to listen.

"I went through my pain in isolation, and I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the mirror knowing that I let someone else go through it alone," Matthew said. "Anything they tell me is confidential. That’s a huge part of why people trust me; they know I won’t tell anyone else about it."

Also, Matthew said he will go out of his way to lift someone up if he see’s something is not quite right.

"Anytime I see someone who looks like they’re having a rough day, even if I’ve never met them before, I make sure I do whatever I can to let them know there’s always someone they can talk to, even if it’s at 3 in the morning," Matthew said. "I believe that is why God let me go through all of those struggles, so I could relate to others. He knew I could take it even when I thought I couldn’t."

While Matthew said he is thankful he can share his story, it is not something he wants anyone to have to go through.

"Although I’d never wish it upon anyone, I’m glad I went through what I did," Matthew said. "It made me a stronger person. Someone has to go through it so they can help others who are dealing with it. I guess it was me."

Matthew said another thing people should avoid is claiming to know exactly what someone else is going through because everyone has had different experiences. In most cases, though, there are a lot of other people that have gone through something similar and are willing to help.

"I hope to be an example of how much a life can turn around," Matthew said. "I’ve made friends through Shores music program, and more recently, a youth group. I can handle things much better now. When I do get stressed, I deal with it by working out and getting outside. When people give you no reason to live, you just have to remember there are people out there who have been through similar things, who just like you, had to take life day by day."